February 2007.
The mid-morning light settled gently over the frost-tipped bushes and thin pathways that formed the scene. A fine drapery of cool mist wafted around the place, bothering the barren trees and itching the corners of the exposed brickwork.
I stared aimlessly outside of my dorm room window. It looked stunning - the winter image outside - invoking such serene sensations, as well as charming the eyes. I was, however, content being indoors, what with the brisk chill in the air and I took comfort in allowing myself to gaze lazily out at the quaint scene.
My attention became completely focussed outside, my eyes breathing in every aspect, every natural moment taking place. I became an observer of this tableau; acting as a witness to the small ceremonies of life playing out on the other side of the glass that separated us. I grudgingly allowed my gaze to drift back to the screen of my laptop, and the unfinished draft, for a brief moment. The work, an essay for my undergraduate Philosophy course, wasn’t due to be submitted for another week, but I had been quite taken by a sudden urge of proactive endeavour that morning. That feeling, however, had now dwindled effortlessly away, leaving me apathetic.
My glare wafted back to the window.
I was becoming easily distracted that particular week; It was the onset of spring, our lectures were on a break (as it was half-way through the term), and all motivation to physically ‘study’ had evaporated. My housemates were away, so I’d spent the start of the week watching the Zach Braff penned movie, Garden State, and I was subsequently savouring the quaint whimsy and ‘spirit’ of life purported therein, albeit, on my own. Furthermore, I was left reeling by the film’s wonderfully eclectic soundtrack, featuring such artists as The Shins, Coldplay, Zero 7, and Thievery Corporation.
It was, however, the song playing over the closing scene of the film, ‘Let Go’, by British electronic group Frou Frou, that really grabbed my attention.
Upon hearing the opening lyrics of the song, I identified Imogen Heap’s instantly recognisable vocal style (having been a fan of Heap’s 2005 solo album ‘Speak For Yourself’, during my college years), and eagerly picked up a copy of Frou Frou’s 2002 album, Details.
I spent the following week listening intently to the album, while alternating between existing reclusively in my room and lazily exploring the countryside that surrounded the university campus located on Harcourt Hill in Oxford, all the while alone, and, yet, not lonely. In fact, it was this solitary period that allowed me to slow down and truly reflect upon my behaviour and perceptions of that particular time.
The tone and feel of Details both manage to wonderfully complement this type of self-evaluation, as the songs featured appear to form images of delicacy, intimacy, vulnerability, and honesty, as well as a faint glimmer of hope, love, and salvation. The album’s sound is also significant in conjuring these emotions; Heap and co-producer Guy Sigsworth use a variety of electronic instruments and production techniques to construct a thick mesh of tones and sounds, weaving through glitchy-pop and experimental electronica, thus illustrating the frailty and complexity of the human condition. To put it another way, the delicacy and precision of the beats and calculated electronic sounds really cater, I feel, to the more introverted listener and manage to capture the frenetic nature of one’s mental state, when experiencing emotions.
Tracks, such as ‘Breathe In’, ‘Hear Me Out’, and ‘Only Got One’ all stand out in my memory as being particularly rich in the aspects mentioned above, especially where it comes to describing the elation, as well as the sheer pain, of being in love. Other tracks of note include ‘It’s Good To Be In Love’ and ‘Psychobabble’, which both seem to explore the darker and more complex feelings regarding attraction, jealousy, manipulation and fear surrounding the act of reaching out and connecting with someone.
One track that has always captivated me is ‘Must Be Dreaming’; an energetic, rapturous anthem that draws up to a glittering climax. This track encapsulates all of the pure feelings of being newly in love, as well as the doubt and fear that comes with it. Furthermore, it effortlessly evokes a sweet memory of a time of innocence and ‘spirit’ for me; where true experiences of ‘falling in love’, as well as ‘rejection’, had yet to be grasped, and where I wandered around in blissful ignorance, smiling out loud at the fresh world around me, at the age of 19.
It’s also important to note that there exists a strong sense of inner-conflict threading through the narrative of the collection. For example, the aforementioned ‘Let Go’, which opens the album, explores feelings of failure and low self-worth, mixed with the pang of urgency; “Drink up, baby, down/ Mmm, are you in or are you out?/ Leave your things behind/ ‘Cause it’s all going off without you”. The song takes this sense of motivation and willed change and illustrates the message that it’s ok to feel vulnerable and that you should know that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. This sentiment is spoken strongly in the chorus, “So, let go, so let go, jump in/ Oh well, whatcha waiting for?/ It’s alright/ ‘Cause there’s beauty in a breakdown”. On closer analysis, it seems that this song is not only celebrating the nuances, or ‘details’, of emotion but also embracing the strength of the human spirit. And, this is just the opening track.
Arguably, one of the most unique aspects of the album is its ability to focus so succinctly on the intricacies and inner-most elements of thought, or feeling, and manages to make them immensely applicable to the listener. One supposes that this is the basis behind the album’s title, Details, as the band appear to be drawing close attention to just that - the details of a given situation or feeling, in order to provide a more clear explanation and definition, perhaps in an attempt to help the listener to process trauma more successfully. In this light, it seems that the message being presented here is that paying attention to the details provides the most effective and true catharsis for those of a vulnerable state of mind. Perhaps, even an argument for the pursuit of hidden truths, as well as championing the analysis of the world around us, and within?
Ultimately, the ‘half-term’ week ended, and I once again thrust myself into the essay, that had been sat on my computer, patiently waiting to receive more substance than just the opening paragraph. But, I was, once again, distracted by the substance of life that already existed outside my window. I returned to settling my gaze through the frosted glass.
It seems that this act of being the spectator has been a practice that I’ve perennially observed throughout my life, and will likely do so onwards. I often find myself wilfully drawn to the smallest segments of information, the details of a matter, rather than the bigger picture. Perhaps, this is due to my fascination with how a given situation, event, or feeling is formed, right down to the tiniest degree. This thoroughness of consideration has, of course, often led me to dwell too much upon my own life and the world around me, consequently causing me to miss the important moments, when they’re staring me right in the face, thus rendering a vast amount of my analysis irrelevant, and a complete waste of time.
My lazy staring out of a window, being a spectator to the life outside, becomes, it seems, my everyday view, forever.
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