Have you ever had a night out which starts off great, but through a series of natural events, leaves you cold, ill and alone. Such a night happened to me.
Before I start, I really am sorry for such a negative message on a sunny Saturday morning, but this is playing on my mind like a robot playing hook the duck at a funfair.
The night itself was awesome. It was another fantastic Cheltenham Underground night (review to follow soon) which meant a whole host of great bands and acts, plus all my friends in one place. And the sun was shining. The downside? = I had no money, 5 days prior to pay day, and I was deep in the mists of a bastard cold, so sniffling and coughing was ever present.
It was one friends birthday, and so naturally, a big night out was in the air. After having already promised that i would go all the way to the club, I had signed myself up for a massive night out, maybe not the best idea.
Meanwhile, a close friend from my Uni days had popped down with some friends, and so I instantly slipped into chatting with him as if we'd never been apart. Again, I said that I would see him in the club, because I didn't want to miss spending time with him either.
And finally, there was a girl at the show (I know, cheesy and pathetic story already) who I like and really wanted to talk to, but due to everything else going on, I couldn't. Incidentally, as always, she ended up hanging around with someone else, which was my own fault for not having the confidence, and the strength to do anything about it.
And then suddenly, my cold, that has been relatively dormant up until that moment, really kicks in and a huge blocked nose and ear ache drift around my head space, ultimately making me feel like shit.
So, in summary, I have two nights out I could go on, and enjoy, and a girl who I could hang out with and talk to, something I desperately wanted to do.
Result? = Riddled with angst and the potential guilt of letting down either party, I succumb to my inconvenient illness and turn my back on all happiness and walk home, cold, ill and alone.
In my mind, the best thing to do at the time was to somehow incorporate all gatherings together and have a fantastic night out. But instead, in order to be true to my friends, who I hold in the highest regard, and myself, I decided to let them all down, including myself, and end up at home nursing a Lemsip watching Scrubs.
So, I wake up this morning, still ill for some fucking reason, and feeling bitter and depressed that I missed out on several great party's, and also that like so many times before; I lost the girl.
You see, such disappointment and pathetic worrying wouldn't have happened if I a) had money, and b) was well enough to make clearer decisions. But, as nature takes its course, I was always going to spend last night cold, ill and alone. It sucks to think it, and to give into it, but that shit just happens. It was already determined that I would make the decision I made, ultimately for the worse, but who knows; maybe its all character building. Maybe a hit had to be taken, so good times could flow.
Whatever. I guess what I'm trying to convey from this whole moaning session is that any night can unravel at an alarming rate, and throw you into a form of turmoil that at the time you feel you have a sense of control over, but you really don't. The only thing to do, after all the worrying and depression is to look back and agree that there was nothing you could have done, and that everything is happening perfectly, as it should. Its time to look forward to a time when money and health are no longer an immediate issue, and when I get there, good times will flow, naturally.
Have a good Saturday! Here's to the future!
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